Sexy Healthy Wealthy

Warning sign of abuse #1-Pushes for quick involvement:  An abuser pressures the new partner for an exclusive committment almost immediately.

Anybody that has ever encountered missionaries can tell you this one.  Boys age 19 and girls age 21 spend their own money to serve a mission, supposedly called of individually by the Prophet.  You can’t pick where you go, which is unfortunate for my little brother who dreamed of South America but was instead called to the Detroit Michigan mission.  For TWO YEARS.  Sounds like a jail sentence to me, but he was…er….”thrilled.”

So there are a set number of “Discussions,”  I believe they now call them “Lessons.”  These missionaries have been extensively trained at the Missionary Training Center in Provo, trained on sales skills.  They prescribe to what’s called the Committment Pattern.  “Investigators” (those who are interested in the Church) are asked to commit to various things during each lesson, such as stopping smoking, drinking, going to meetings, etc.  On the third lesson they are asked to commit to baptism.

Which is GREAT, if you knew exactly what you were getting into….being a Mormon is not something you can just half-ass.  There are plenty of jobs to do.  And if you have any questions about the Church that are….problematic?  There’s something called “giving the milk before the meat”….which basically means they want you to FEEL good (think of the last movie you saw that made you cry….that “feeling” is what they call the “spirit” and if you cry that means you have it, and the missionaries high-five each other on the way out) because as long as they can get you to feel emotional about something then you won’t be asking any of the hard questions.

WHY is it so important to be a member before you know anything about the Church, even before you’ve had a chance to read the whole Book of Mormon?

Another way the church pushes for quick involvement is with marriage and starting families.  Utah has the youngest population in the US…members marry quite young and have children right away.  In the Temple, the young couple is commanded (not something you take lightly) to “multiply and replenish the earth.”  I can see how this was important when there were….TWO people, but billions?

WHY?  WHY not wait?  Why get involved so quickly….What is the rush?

I suspect it has more to do with money than their rush to get you into the Celestial Kingdom.  As I posted here, there are only a dozen or so men at the top of this multi-billion dollar corporate ladder- highly successful business men, and your 10% tithing goes directly to that asset column.  The sooner they can get you to “work” in the church the better.  If they can squeeze more Mormons out of you, you’re gold.

I conclude that Yes, the Mormon Church does exhibit this particular trait that is a warning sign of abuse.

<i took this pic in chinatown, new york city>

I had this teacher in 8th grade, I’ll call him “Mr. Thomas”.  Mr. Thomas was a great teacher and loved what he did.  He was single, and kept a picture on his desk of a woman character on Star Trek.  I really liked him a lot.

One day, a friend and I were passing notes in class.  Hahaha….when I was a kid we passed notes with PEN and PAPER …Anway this girl had written stuff on the paper about Mr. Thomas.  And I don’t think she was serious about it, but I can’t remember….but on this paper there was a reference to Mr. Thomas being gay.

In 8th grade, I didn’t know any gay people.  My mom had a cousin who was gay, but I really didn’t know much about it.  And I only recently found out that my mom’s gay cousin has a profession–I only knew her as the gay cousin.  Like that was her career or something.  Anyway, all I knew about gays or Homosexuality was that it was a very bad thing to be.  Mormons are taught that homosexuality is like an addiction, and it can be overcome. 

So my teacher, of course, found the note.  My name was on it, the other girl’s wasn’t.

Mr. Thomas called me out into the hall during my next class.  I had no idea what it was about, I had no idea he had found the note, and I had no idea how he would react to it.

I will never forget what happened next.

After I walked into the empty hall, and the door shut behind me, Mr. Thomas broke down.  He didn’t just shed a delicate tear, he SOBBED.  In pain.  And I, this young, naive, arrogant girl was the cause of his pain.  I didn’t know what to do, or say.  I don’t remember how it ended. 

And I’m not saying that Mr. Thomas was gay, necessarily, because I don’t know, but whatever was on that paper clearly hurt him.  I had never seen this side of things before.  I had believed that gay people knowingly chose their sin.  I hadn’t even begun to imagine the sorrow that would come from being considered “deviant” by the Norm.

Out of shame and embarrassment I never told anybody this story.  When homosexuality was discussed in my home, I would fiercely defend it, and defend the people behind it….much to the dismay of my parents.  My dad and I would get into these huge arguments over it.  They thought I just wanted to fight about something.  But those sobs coming from my teacher in that empty hallway will always haunt me.

And I will always stand up for gay people.  The courage it takes to just be your authentic self in this homophobic society is something that straight people cannot comprehend, especially in a religious environment.  There is much pain and loneliness of “pretending” to be something you’re not, just to make somebody else happy.  And in certain parts of this country, there is a very real physical threat to being an openly gay person as well (yes–I’ve spent the day in an emergency room with a friend due to a homophobic rage).

So, “Mr. Thomas”,  I am so sorry…..and I thank you for having the courage to confront me and for allowing me to get a glimpse of the pain that I and maybe countless others have ever caused you.

**i took this pic in Utah, on the way to the Great Salt Lake**