So I was sitting in class one day, and my (fantastic) professor mentioned some theory about capitalism and how it depends on the traditional nuclear family….the wife needs to stay home and create more workers….and basically the women are providing free labor for the market.
Okay. So then I reflected on something that has been bugging me for a long time. Mormons are conditioned from a very early age that they should get married very early in life. Actually–I didn’t realize until I moved away–that getting married at 18, 19, 21 is in fact, early. That age is the “norm” in Utah. I was married at 21, and boy…that was cutting it close. In fact, after 25 you can forget it–you’re a very old maid. So we are conditioned by engaging in activities, as young women, that prepare you for temple marriage. **Without preparing for an actual temple ceremony–THAT just comes as a complete surprise to the unsuspecting young woman** I have pictures from when I was 15 or so and we went to a youth activity to a bridal shop and tried on gowns (modest ones, of course)… Then once you marry it is imperative that you have children right away. In fact, when you are married in the temple (if you are worthy–which means you are both likely virgins) you are *commanded* to “multiply and replenish the earth”. There are “spirits in heaven” waiting for bodies and it is YOUR sole responsibility to give it to them. “Overpopulation” to a Mormon just means the opening of a new dollar store–or Walmart on a Saturday night–WOW…
So…WHY? WHY is it SO important–and I can’t stress this enough–it is SO important to get married young and have kids? Have kids when you are in college. Nobody questions this in Utah. Nobody (out loud) says, hey, wait a minute. I’m just a college student! How the heck am I supposed to support a family? I don’t even have health insurance! Faith is the answer, faith that things will work out, and when you have kids you will be blessed.
When my husband was in school we were told by our peers that if you have kids when you’re in college, the state pays for it. Now, you’re not going to find an apostle telling you this. You’ll find them saying “live within your means.” You’ll also find this:
along with this:
and, while we’re at it….this:
Have kids in college, declare bankruptcy…and why are you sad, Utah?
So again…”live within your means”….but have kids, like now. Like, a lot of them. OH! Have I mentioned tithing? On top of all this, you are required to pay a full 10% of your income (before taxes) to the church. So the question is……WHY? Why not wait a few years? Even 4 years, until you are done with college, until you are established with a job and health insurance? (Although–even with full coverage, due to the vast amount of kids being produced in Utah, it’s still going to cost a few grand to have kids…whereas in Philadelphia, we have insurance that would only require a co-pay. WHAT?!)
Girls go to college in Utah. They go to college to find a worthy husband. They go to college “just in case” something happens to that worthy husband, like death. Girls do NOT go to college for a career, or a degree in something they may enjoy doing. The chosen dream for the honorable and virtuous young woman is to get married and have kids. That’s it. What more could they want? They have a duty to fulfill, that of righteous wife and mother. Keep your house clean and dinner on the table. Support your husband, he has the priesthood and bears an enormous responsibility, one a woman would never ever want for herself. You see, for a woman to make it into the Celestial Kingdom, the Highest Degree of Glory–her husband must be worthy. Which is a bit ironic, considering that Mormons are baptised at the age of 8 because “We believe that men should be punished for their own sins and not for Adam’s transgression.” And yet….women can and will be punished for their husband’s transgressions. If he’s not worthy, by default-she’s not either. The Celestial Kingdom is a no-go. Your vast family you created and dedicated your life for–well they may be there, but you’re not. Which is too bad, because you probably make the best bean casserole EVER.
I digress…
So NOW, that day–I looked at the church under a new eye–and I seriously almost screamed “OH MY GOSH!” right in the middle of class.
It all made sense.
The Mormon Church is capitalism at it’s finest.
“Every member is a missionary”–if you ever go to Utah as a visitor, or if you know a Mormon–one thing might strike you. They are all *Happy*–right? You get the feeling that these people are the sweetest, nicest, most angelic people on the planet….and don’t get me wrong–they are in fact, very nice people. But what you DON’T know is that they look at you as a potential customer. Mormons will always be on their “best behavior” if there is a possibility that you might be interested in what they have to offer. This doesn’t apply if, say, your children are leading their children to sin…that’s a different story and you will see a whole new side of mormon….but seriously…Mormons are bred to be the best Brand Managers there are. They don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t watch R-rated movies…these people are squeaky clean. And you can be too! Everything I’ve learned in my Marketing class about managing a brand supports my theory: “The brand’s positioning will not take hold fully unless everyone in the company loves the brand. Therefore the company needs to train its people to be customer centered. Even better, the company should carry on internal brand building to help employees understand and be enthusiastic about the brand promise. Many companies go even further by training and encouraging their distributors and dealers to serve their customers well. Companies must manage their brands carefully.” (emphasis added) pg. 219 Armstrong and Kotler, Marketing an Intro.
This is why the Mormon church is really emphasizing to media that they should be called “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints” rather than Mormon. Mormon as a brand name has a negative connotation, whereas LDS sounds so much better.
With that in mind, let me tell you the #1 principle to Mormons—and don’t ever underestimate the power of this—***APPEARANCE IS EVERYTHING*** I’m going to say it again just in case you missed it…. APPEARANCE IS EVERYTHING. In fact, Mormons are instructed to not only avoid Evil, but the APPEARANCE of evil. Which is why near-beer isn’t too popular…or even that apple cider that looks like champagne….No. That brand image must be maintained at all costs.
And we are also conditioned from an early age to believe that all you outsiders are secretly wishing that you were Mormon. Because nobody is truly *Happy* until they convert. We watch movies, we discuss it in church, in seminary (a class you take in high school, during high school–but across the street)…honestly when Mormons leave the state they are genuinely baffled to find people that are perfectly happy with their own religion. BAFFLED. That is a genuine baffle-ment. They truly believe that being LDS is the superior way to live. And I hate to say it…there can be a bit of an arrogance, believing you are better than somebody else. They won’t say it, but believing that you are the superior in anything will do that to you….
Wow, so much to say…where was I? Oh yes….
The business. So what’s a good way to expand your business? Literally create more workers. For FREE. In fact, they will PAY for it themselves. Missionaries, 19-21 years old–they save up their whole lives to finance their own 2 year mission. However the most effective way to convert is to “include” non-Mormons into activities….they are surrounded by brand managers selling *Happy* and let me tell you–Mormons will stop at nothing to go out of their way to “seal the deal”. Of course, once it’s done and you’re baptised you become one of them and not so “special” anymore….So here we have women busting out these babies, starting young….starting out behind financially and being completely dependent on their husbands for everything. Not only are they not paid for their labor, but their contribution is severly under-rated. Purely based on finances, women aren’t generally considered to be adding anything to the home, just by doing what they are supposed to do.
This is an interview with President Boyd K Packer, one of the twelve apostles:
BKP: One of the dividing lines is whether they have children at home. Little children need to be nurtured. The woman, the wife, the mother, the mama — she’s the power there. And if you lose that, you’ve lost a lot. So we strongly encourage women to have children, to have a family and then to be at home during their growing years. And we always encourage that. There’s a fulfillment there that comes from this. I heard a grandpa say that his grandchildren only want to go to grandma’s house. Embedded in that is what we’re talking about. ”
For the full interview—and yes I will address much more of it…. click here.
Here’s the genius part—You can’t make it, month to month…you struggle a little bit…you declare bankruptcy if you have to….it’s okay! You know why? CHURCH WELFARE WILL SAVE YOU!! Here’s where some of the tithing goes. The Church can pay your rent, and supply you with groceries when times are tough. Is this a burden on them? You betcha! But a life-long customer…now that’s priceless! And in fact, the more dependent you are on the Church, the greater the odds that you will stick around…like, forever. So they are more than willing to help out. This is also part of the strategy. In fact, when they counsel to be “self-sufficent”–I believe what they mean is that the church itself is part of your “self”, if you know what I mean. As a side note–if you ever find yourself on church welfare, I HIGHLY recommend the canned mashed potatoes. They come in a large bucket and they are freeze dried or something…it doesn’t sound good but trust me, I don’t know how they do it…these are the best mashed potatoes you will ever have. Actually, I think the missionaries could convert based on the mashed potatoes alone. Wow, I really miss those potatoes. The refried beans come in a close second. And they all have the “Deseret” brand logo on them, kind of like on Lost. Only I’ll bet their potatoes are not nearly as good.
Where does the money go? Good question. Mormons aren’t paid for doing their “callings”, and every active member has something to do. Wards (geographical boundaries) have many many jobs to fill, so everybody has a job, essentially. And you will spend hours working on these jobs, per week. It’s a part time job, especially in a leadership position. This organization is extremely organized, efficient and well-run. And the best part, from a business perspective…it’s all FREE. These people don’t get paid a DIME. In fact, they pay the Church for the privilege of working for them. It’s an astounding and successful busines model.
So there’s a Prophet, called of God, and 12 apostles, called of God and 40 General Authorities, called of God, and stake presidents and ward bishops…all called of God. Who are these 12 apostles, the men on top?
Businessmen. With *extensive* backgrounds, degrees, advanced degrees and a lot of experience in building businesses or working with corporations. Why isn’t a librarian, or the greeter at Walmart called of God to be an apostle?
Well….the answer is simple. Deseret Management Corporation. The FOR-profit part of the Church, that builds up it’s assets. The prophet and 12 apostles make up the Board. This is a team of business professionals, strategically chosen and placed for the strengths that they can bring the corporation. And if you call being worth BILLIONS of dollars, then yes, they are quite succesful at what they do.
Now, I have no problem with believing in a religion and dedicating your life to it. I have no problem with believing in a business and dedicating your life to it. My problem is when you don’t realize, getting married at 19, 20, 21 and then having 4 kids, right away–you don’t realize what you are giving up. You don’t realized that you are, in fact, dedicating your life to a religion/business that is run by a Board of highly professional business men, that when you are faithfully doing your duty of “multiplying and replenishing the earth” that you are in fact giving up any hopes and dreams of your own (independent of the one chosen for you–wife and mother) in return for an institution that you will always be dependent on.
I have a problem with the non-disclosure of the terms of employment. And I shudder to think of women, especially, waking up one day at 40, 50, 60 and realizing that they have labored their entire lives for a system that may not even pay out in the end. They are divorced, or their husband is unrighteous, and then what? Their youth is gone, given up for the greater cause. And after all that….The Celestial Kingdom eludes them. In fact, employment eludes them. Wealth or even comfort eludes them. But that Board, the 12 apostles and the Prophet? They’ll be fine. Maybe in the end that’s all that matters.
And now that I have had this realization, I no longer feel chained by it. Now that I can see it for what it really is, or what it really comes down to, I feel like I can take “Satan” out of the picture, and I can hold this neat little business model in my hand, my whole world that had been packaged up nicely for me….and I can look at it from a different perspective, without emotion, or guilt, or anxiety….but I can really examine it and study its construction, study how it was formed and how it works.
And I’ve never felt more free.
