Sexy Healthy Wealthy

So one great thing about being Mormon and then stepping away from it is being able to look at everything around you with a new eye.  Because when you have to question your entire life and your entire reality as it has been shaped for you as a Mormon….you tend to question EVERYTHING else as well.  Who defines what’s real and what isn’t?  And what do they have to benefit from the belief they want you to have?

So one debate in my classes is about pornography.  There are great arguments, both for and against–in the woman’s perspective.  Some see pornography as a horrible act against women, and all women are victims of it.  Some see it as empowering to women, being able to freely express their sexuality.

But one comment made me stop. Wait a minute….I’ve heard this before–same thing, different words.

Here’s what it was: “There are some women who go their entire lives and only want to be in Playboy.” Basically, if that’s somebody’s *dream* in life, who are we to “put her down”?  Who are we to say she is oppressed, I mean, how could she be- if that is her desire and she is able to attain it?  And some will look at this woman as being able to express her sexuality on HER terms, she is declaring herself as a beautiful and sexual being–and the key word that is used is “AGENCY.”  She is FREE to do so, and we support her.

“Agency” has a history with Mormons, it started before we were all born.  Basically there was a war in Heaven (the Pre-Existence), before we came to the earth in our bodies.  Satan (who was a good guy, to begin with)(and our brother) had a plan that said, well, since Heavenly Father went to ALL THIS TROUBLE to create the earth, everybody born on it better do the right thing.  Or ELSE.  He wanted righteousness to be forced upon us.  Jesus (another brother) had a different plan.  He believed that we should have the right to choose between good and evil.  So there was this superhero battle, Satan lost and was banished from Heaven (Mormon version of it) and ever since then has spent all this time trying to lure sweet young virginal Mormons into pre-marital sex….hahahah, I mean–he was never able to have an earthly body and frankly, he’s pissed.  It’s like Donald Trump (God) said “You’re Fired”….and then “If I ever see you step foot in Manhatten again I will be so furious my last hair will come unglued.”  On top of that, he took like a third of all the spirit population that was on his side.  So Satan (and his buddies) are doing everything they can to make sure that us humans are MISERABLE, by lurking the earth and wanting us to sin.  Sin leads to misery.  It also leads to a skinny vanilla latte.  Or an appletini.  It’s all about Satan.

Dang it, can’t take the Mormon out of the girl….here I am raving on about the devil.  That reminds me, I have a birthday card from my Grandma that reads (I’m paraphrasing because I can’t find it right now):  “Dear Crystal, we love you.  It’s too bad Satan has a hold of you.  Happy Birthday, love Grandma and Grandpa.”  It is pretty funny.  OR she’s right.  Either way, at least she remembered my birthday.

So where was I? Mormons are proud of their “agency.”  They are proud of their “freedom to choose.”  This is something that was given to us.

“There are some women who go their entire lives and only want to be in Playboy.”  In Utah, women go their entire lives and only want to be a wife and a mother.  Why?  That’s basically the only option for us.  And here’s how they get you—-this is not seen as anything in the least degree of oppressive—why, it is an HONOR…a PRIVILEGE to be a wife and a mother.   When the Equal Rights Amendment proposal was gaining popularity across the country, in Utah women were taught that equal rights for women would actually be a step “backwards.”  (Hear about that here).   Now, think about this for a minute.  Being a wife and a mother (to MANY kids) is an extraordinary act of righteousness, selflessness–and brings a woman to a near angel status.  There is no greater way that a woman could honor this world, her holy calling–then by popping out as many kids out of her vagina as is humanly possible.  She is a blessed saint, “enduring to the end,” to fulfill her godly womanly aspirations.  Young women are not asked what they want to be when they grow up.  I am going to college as a 30 year old in Philadelphia and for the first time in my life, I have people actually asking me what I intend to do with my degree.  Like, they actually EXPECT that I’m going to college for a REASON.  This is such a foreign concept to me.  In Utah, the only reason to go to college is to find a righteous young man to marry.  Then you have babies and fulfill that beautiful womanly honor, and duty (all in the name of  “Agency,” mind you) only they really have no idea that there’s anything else for them out there.  I can’t tell you how maddening it is to see bright, intelligent young women in high school say “I don’t want or need to go to college.  I’m going to get married and be a mother.”  Or if they do go to college, it is a type of insurance plan for a future that may include the death of their husband, when they would be in the unfortunate position of having to take care of their kids as a single mom.  AGENCY.

So when I hear “Only thing they want to do in their life”….followed by something that only a woman can do with her uterus or vagina…I have to take a step back and say “WHAT THE HECK?”

Let’s break this down.  It is essential that Mormons feel as if they are given a “choice.”  They have “free agency” to do as they please.  But do they *really* have this “agency”?  Heck no.  They’re married and have kids before they even know what hit them…almost keeping them in a child-like state.  If they do realize, it’s too late.  Is that really agency?  And is that what all Mormon women *really* want out of life?  They will tell you YES, they will tell you that YOU are the oppressor by suggesting otherwise.  How dare YOU, an outsider, tell them what THEY want?  They know full well they can do what they want, and this is what they have CHOSEN to do.

And who benefits?  Read this.  The wealthy white males at the top of the corporation.  The Prophet, the 12 Apostles, the business team set in place to take over once America crumbles.

There is an excellent book called “Escape” by Carolyn Jessop.  She was a member of the Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints (FLDS), a polygamous group–the ones in southern Utah and Texas.  Actually, I believe, the ones that are portrayed in the compound of  ”Big Love.”  What is fascinating is that Mormon polygamous (OH I can hear the hushed screaming of Utah from here—THEY’RE NOT MORMON…DARN IT!)  are actually regular Mormons…but on crack.  Her polygamous lifestyle was a super concentrated version of Mormonism in general, complete with the superior attitude and distrust of outsiders.  And now that I’m outside of Utah…..I’m finding that Utah is actually regular America…but on crack.  The Mormon patriarchal lifestyle is a super concentrated version of Americans in general, complete with the superior attitude and distrust of outsiders.  The attitudes, beliefs, and gender roles in polygamous Utah get watered down in regular Utah.  The attitudes, beliefs, and gender roles in Utah get watered down in regular America.  If you want to study Patriarchy and its effects on society, study Utah and Mormonism.  And don’t think the rest of America is above that.  It’s still there….but in a watered down version.

Which brings me back to porn stars.  Women in Utah are excellent performers.  They have their roles they are expected to fulfill, and they do it.  They perform quite well.  They act like everything is great–SUPER, in fact.  They are on top of it all.  With a few pills here and there, they can be that perfect spouse, that perfect mother that they are “supposed” to be.  The more “righteous” ones, the ones that are looked upon as superior examples, are the ones that can perform the greatest.  You truly believe that they can have a half-dozen kids, have callings (jobs) in the church that take up all their time, and keep their house neat and tidy for visitors—ALL with a beaming smile on their face.  And a plate full of warm cookies.  And they “choose” this honorary life– the only requirement is a uterus and a vagina.  The wealthy white males in charge don’t expect much else.

The best porn stars are the ones that perform well.  They act like everything is great–SUPER, in fact.  They are on top of it all.  With a few drinks here and there, they can be that perfect lover, that perfect sex toy they are “supposed” to be.  The more “wealthy” ones, the ones that are looked upon as superior examples, are the ones that can perform the greatest.  You truly believe that they can have a half-dozen penises in their face, have every orifice in their body filled, and keep their bodies tight and hairless for visitors—ALL with a beaming smile on their face.  And a face full of warm cum.  And they “choose” this sexually expressive life– the only requirement is a mouth and a vagina.  The wealthy white males in charge don’t expect much else.

Who truly benefits from “Agency” given to women?

And what does it mean that Utah is the number one consumer of online porn?