Sexy Healthy Wealthy

Dear Abby has posted 15 warning signs of an abuser.  A woman had asked about her boyfriend that had become very controlling.  She counseled the girl that if any of the other signs, along with #3, applied to her relationship then she should leave immediately.    

Here is the list, and I wish to address each of these individually. 

1.  Pushes for quick involvement.  An abuser pressures the new partner for an exclusive committment almost immediately.

2.  Jealous:  Excessively possessive; calls constantly or visits you unexpectedly.

3.  Controlling:  Interrogates you intensely (especially if you’re late) about whom you talked to and where you were; keeps all the money, insists you ask permission to go anywhere or do anything.

4.  Unrealistic expectations:  Expects you to be the perfect mate and meet his or her every need.

5.  Isolation:  Tries to cut you off from family and friends; accuses people who are your supporters of “causing trouble.”  The abuser may deprive you of a phone or car or try to prevent you from holding a job.

6.  Blames others for problems and mistakes: It’s always someone else’s fault if something goes wrong.

7.  Makes others responsible for his or her feelings:  The abuser says “You make me angry” or says “You’re hurting me by not doing what I tell you to.”

8.  Hypersensitivity:  Is easily insulted, claiming hurt feelings when he or she is really mad.  Rants about the injustice of things that are just a part of life.

9.  Cruelty to animals or children:  Kills or punishes animals brutally.  Also, may expect children to do things far beyond their ability, or may tease them until they cry.  65% of abusers who beat their partner will also abuse children.

10.  “Playful” use of force during sex:  Enjoys throwing you down or holding you against your will during sex; finds the idea of rape exciting.

11.  Verbal abuse:  Constantly criticizes or says blatantly cruel things;  degrades, curses, calls you ugly names.  They may also involve sleep deprivation, waking you up with relentless verbal abuse.

12.  Rigid gender roles:  Expects you to serve, obey, or remain at home.

13.  Sudden mood swings:  Switches from sweet to violent in a matter of minutes.

14.  Past battering:  Admits to hitting a mate in the past, but says the person made him (or her) do it.

15.  Threats of violence:  Says things like “I’ll break your neck” or “I’ll kill you,” and then dismisses them with “Everybody  talks that way” or “I didn’t really mean it.”

**i took this pic outside the American Fork Utah temple, waiting outside with the other sinners, singing the Mormon hymn ”Families can be together forever”**

**just kidding on the singing….you don’t want to see mormons get angry….**

**….a lot of brow-furrowing**